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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Fidel Castro Is Retiring
 Top Ten   
He has accepted the role of Dr. Ramon Vazquez on "General Hospital"
Achieved his goal of getting Cuba's unemployment rate under 83%
Wants to spend more time interrogating his family
Just got Season One of "Gilmore Girls"
Caught injecting human growth hormone into his wife, Debbie Castro
Too many tacos
He was adopted by Angelina Jolie -- honestly, how crazy would that be?
Always promised himself he'd quit torturing when it stopped being fun
Jane Fonda called him a blank
49 years at the same job? Who am I, Letterman?
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Realized he'd no longer be the oldest, crankiest world leader if McCain is elected

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Suffering from painful case of beard rash

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Replacing Kirstie Alley as spokesperson for Jenny Craig

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Won 35 grand at Mohegan Sun craps table

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Always dreamed of opening up a 1958 Edsel dealership

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Right now his focus is on raising the baby with Jamie Lynn Spears

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Heartsick over Sports Illustrated's decision not to use any of his swimsuit photos

Katie Couric Post-Palin
For the first time, Katie Couric discusses her interview with Sarah Palin.
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