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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Top Ten Signs You're Drinking Too Much Coffee
 Top Ten   
Your blood type has been reclassified as "espresso"
Every morning you go for a quick 47 mile jog
As soon as California legalized gay marriage, you got engaged to Mr. Coffee
Your after-shave? Hazelnut non-dairy creamer
You're tapping your leg like Larry Craig in a men's room stall
A Starbucks just opened in your basement
Your last words before bypass surgery: "Tell Juan Valdez I love him"
Average 80 blinks per minute
You named your kids "Tall," "Grande," and "Venti"
Unable to sleep, you actually watch "The Late Show"
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For Father's Day, you got a mug that reads: "World's Jitteriest Dad"

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Co-workers complain they can't get their work done due to your teeth chattering

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Haven't slept since the Nixon administration

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You were the only person awake when Willie Randolph got fired

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You're getting about as much sleep as Amy Winehouse

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You're spending more time in the bathroom than Amy Winehouse

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Color of your teeth often lead people to assume you're British

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Air marshals had to subdue you after a flight attendant asked if you wanted tea

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You take coffee breaks during your coffee breaks

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