CBS Logo

This Week's Show Recap:

   Mon    |    Tue    |    Wed    |    Thu    | Fri

Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Show #2908
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Danica Patrick; Keith Olbermann; and Tokyo Police Club.
PLUS: American Idol; The HBO Miniseries, “John Adams”; Dave Receives a Phone Call; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; “If I Were President”; and Abraham Lincoln Is In The House!

“ . . . and now, the most watched drama on television . . . . David Letterman!”

ACT 1:
Tuesday night on American Idol featured songs by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Dave’s admiration of Mr. Wright is well known. He offers his offering of one of ALW’s pieces: “Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping.” Stunning. Hey, American Idol, didn’t you get Dave’s audition tape? It was not the least bit pitchy. In fact, it had no pitch at all. And did you see American Idol Tuesday night? It was crazy. Dave never saw anything like it. We see a clip of David Cook singing “Music of the Night.” When he hits the high note, Paula Abdul’s head explodes. Wow. We should have her on to do a Top Ten.

Dave cannot get enough of the HBO miniseries John Adams. We take a look at a clip from last night’s installment.
We see John Adams holding a DVD. He looks at the cover. It’s HBO’s miniseries “John Adams” with John Adams on the cover. John Adams sighs, “That’s the guy they got to play me? I thought I was better looking than the guy in ‘Sideways.’ I guess not.”

Dave’s desk phone rings. He picks up.
DAVE: “Hello? Uhhh, uhhh . . uhh huh. . . . .uhhh .. . . Where are you now? . . . . . uh huh. . . . uh uh uh uh uh . . . . yeah, but but but but but but . . . . Are you in a bar? I can barely hear you. . . . . I can’t, I’m in the middle of the show. . . . . . CBS. OK, bye.”
Dave hangs up.
Paul wonders, “Dave, what was that?”
DAVE: “ . . . . . Booty call.”
And how about a hand for Dave’s Bob Newhart inpression.

And now another scene from the HBO miniseries, John Adams. We see John Adams standing in front of a white background. He proudly says, “I’m a MAC.” Gerard Mulligan also dressed 18th century, stares at John Adams. Adams wonders, “Oh, this isn’t right. What are we doing here?”
Mulligan: “I don’t know.”
John Adams: (disgusted) – “’Givl’ing agent.” John Adams exits.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
We see Bush with the Romanian president. Bush says they just had a very good meeting. Bush waits for the translator off-camera to translate. Eventually, the translator relays to our President, “I was actually told that everybody speaks English.”
Oh.

ACT 2:
Sure, we have Danica Patrick here tonight, but let’s not forget about Shirley Cha Cha Muldowney.

There’s a class of 3rd graders in Newburgh, New York. Occasionally they will send drawings with cute little thoughts on various topics. Tonight they sent us, “If I Were President.” We take a look at some they sent.
- Rose: “If I were President, I’d put Howie Mandel on the nickel.”
- Peter: “If I were President, I would challenge Kim Jong Il to a cage match.”
- Adam: “If I were President, I would let squirrels vote.”
- Andy: “If I were President, I’d build some more of them Native American casinos.”
- Lauren: “If I were President, I would introduce Condoleezza Rice to my uncle who also can’t get a date.”
- Cindy: “If I were President, Just for fun, I’d make Larry King take steroids.”
- Ernie: “If I were President, I’d get myself a kickin’ First Lady like Beyonce.”
- Julia: “If I were President, I’d update Mount Rushmore and give Jefferson a goatee.”
- Beth: “If I were President, I wouldn’t have to do this dumb assignment.”
- Lawrence: “If I were President, I’d send Dr. Phil to the moon and leave him there.”
And that was from the darlings in Miss Patrick’s 3rd grade class.

ACT 3:
TOP TEN: Ways George W. Bush Can Improve His Approval Rating – his Gallup Poll disapproval rating is at a record high at 69%.
9. Replace “Hail to the Chief” with Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”
5. Jump Snake River in rocket powered “Sky-Cycle.”

DANICA PATRICK: She’s the first female to win an IndyCar Series race. On Sunday, Danica won the Indy Japan 300 at Twin Ring Motegi. This is her 4th season and 50th race. Danica is very excited about her win, but more than that she is relieved. She’s gotten tired of hearing, “Good job, congratulations, now when are you going to win your first race?” Dave says she has done something no woman has ever done before and is an inspiration to anybody who wants to try something new.
Dave brings up a subject that is often overlooked when lauding great athletes. He asks Danica about the sacrifices her parents had to go through to help her get to this point. Masters golf champion Trevor Immelman mentioned this on the show last week. Danica shares a bit of what her mom and dad have done over the years. Behind every great and not so great athlete, there is usually a mom and/or dad who made it possible.
Danica has lovely hair and Dave wonders where she puts it during the race; up inside the helmet or down inside her racing suit. The answer: down inside her suit. Which made me ponder the old question, “Does Santa Claus sleep with his whisker over the covers or under the covers?”
Danica’s next race: This Sunday at the Kansas Indy 300 at Kansas Speedway.M
Before saying goodbye, Dave presents Danica with a bouquet of roses. I was impressed with the pleased Danica as she gave a ‘Miss America’ wave while holding the roses. Very good.

ACT 4:
Back from commercial, Dave lauds the achievement of Danica Patrick. And then we hear booing from the audience. Dave tries his best to ignore it but it continues. “Boooooo! Booooooooo!
Booooooooooooo!”
My first thought was that Dave Sikula was in the audience. But no, it wasn’t Mr. Sikula at all. Up in the balcony we find Abraham Lincoln heckling Mr. Letterman.
DAVE: “I’m sorry, who is that?”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: “It’s me, Honest Abe Lincoln. And I gotta be honest: You stink, Letterman!”
DAVE: “So, you’re not enjoying tonight’s show?”*
LINCOLN: “You call these jokes? I heard bigger laughs at the Battle of Antietam!”
(Rimshot)

(note: Dave was scripted to say, “So, you’re not enjoying tonight’s JOKES.” Dave said “show” instead. He doesn’t usually follow his lines word-for-word. Most times it doesn’t matter. This time Lincoln’s line was based on Dave’s saying the word “jokes.” Dave laughed at the disconnect)

DAVE: “Well, there’s not much I can do about that.”
LINCOLN: “No kidding. You’re stiffer than my stovepipe hat.”
(Rimshot)
DAVE: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
LINCOLN: “Well, I was impressed by one thing about the show.”
DAVE: “What’s that?”
LINCOLN: “This is actually the worst night I’ve had in a theater!”
(Rimshot)
LINCOLN: “Am I right, people? Where’s John Wilkes Boothe when you need him?!”
(Rimshot)
LINCOLN: “But seriously, you know what I like about you?”
DAVE: “No, I don’t.”
LINCOLN: “I may have died at a theater once, but you do it every night!”
(Rimshot --- gets up to leave)
LINCOLN: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be rubbing up against people on the subway.”
(Exits)

It was nice to see Mr. Lincoln. He looks better than I expected. I was surprised to see him sitting in the first row of the balcony. If I were him, I’d always sit with my back against the wall.

ACT 5:
Announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Tina Fey, Brett Favre, and singer Estelle. Make your TIVO happy! Record this show now! We’ll be right back.

ACT 6:
KEITH OLBERMANN: From MSNBC’s “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.” Keith used to anchor on ESPN’s Sports Center. He must be impressed with Danica Patrick. Keith says he is and believes she has had as much influence on the sport of racing as legendary NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle. He adds that she will inspire the generation behind her and she has succeeded the hype. Many athletes do not live up to the hype surrounding them, no fault of their own, but Danica was hyped and she met the challenge. What’s happening with the Democratic Party? Will they ever choose a candidate? Keith is happy about the prolonged decision-making. It gives cable news 6 hours to kill every Tuesday. He offers this nauseating fact: It was one year ago tonight that the first Democratic Debate was held for the 2008 Presidential Election. One year in and we still have so much more to go.
Will Hillary be the Democratic nominee? Keith says she might. There is a way for her to get the nomination, but what she will have to do to achieve that will make it impossible for her to win the election in November. The strings she has to pull, the fudging of the accepted rules in play, the shenanigans needed for her to get the nomination will turn off a lot of Democratic supporters. This will hurt her mightily against her Republican opponent. I doubt this would be good for the country, but boy, would that be entertaining! The Democratic Convention will be a blast.
Dave asks about campaign donations. What is the maximum an individual can give? Keith says it is $2,300. But then there are organizations and corporations which make the limit on giving kind of cloudy. Dave sighs a sigh of disgust just thinking about all the money needed to run for President. It’s estimated that a candidate would need at least $700 million just to go the distance. And it’s all for ego. Meanwhile, Americans are going hungry. Wouldn’t it be better to raise that money and use it to feed our people in need? Yes, but no one would hear about it because you need that money to get your face and story on TV. It would be like starting a campaign to raise $1 million for the hungry, but costing you $999,999 for television time to get your campaign out there.
Keith Olbermann -- his look always reminds me of Steve Allen.

ACT 7:
TOKYO POLICE CLUB: From their album, “Elephant Shell,” Tokyo Police Club performed “Tessellate.”

And that was our show for Wednesday April 23, 2008.




Today is Tax Freedom Day. Tax Freedom Day is the first day of the year in which the average person has theoretically earned enough income to pay off his annual tax burden.
That’s for the average person. It’s not the same for everybody.
For Wesley Snipes, “Tax Freedom Day” is New Year’s.

And just who is Shirley “Cha Cha” Muldowney? She sounded familiar and I probably would have guessed she had something to do with autoracing even before Dave’s reference, but that’s as far as I could have gone.
Shirley Muldowney: known as the "First Lady of Drag Racing."
She was the first woman to receive a license to drive a top fuel dragster by the National Hot Rod Association.
Was inducted into the International Motorsports Hall of Fame in 2004.
Inducted into the Motorsports Hall of Fame of American in 1990.
Ranked #5 in the National Hot Rod Association Top 50 Drivers, 1951-2000.
And she was the subject in the 1983 film, “Heart Like A Wheel.” (wikipedia)

As I waited for the start of the Yankee game Tuesday night, I clicked over to one of the cable channels at 8:05 to see the results of the Pennsylvania Primary. No numbers are up yet as I see “Too Close to Call” along the bottom scroll. I come back to the cable news five minutes later and I see that Hillary is declared the winner over Obama, getting 60% of the vote. I continue to read the mess up on the screen and see that 1% of the votes have been counted. How’s that work? No votes are counted and it’s too close to call. 1% of the votes are counted and Hillary is declared the winner.

I drove by a schoolyard playground on my way to work this morning and admired the sliding pond. And then I wondered where the term “sliding pond” came from, so I Googled it up. There is some info, but nothing definitive. I enjoyed learning that “sliding pond” may have morphed from “slide upon.” And then I read that the term “sliding pond” is only used in the northeast, specifically the New York City area. Outside of the area, no one would know what you would mean by “sliding pond.” Do you know what a sliding pond is?

New York Mets stars Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado are slumping badly to start off the season. And this may have a lot to do with the Mets slow start. I have to wonder how long before the New York papers start referring to them as Carloss?

This Hank Steinbrenner may be more fun and frustrating as Yankee-owner than daddy George. The other day he blabbed to the New York tabloids that Yankee pitcher Mike Mussina better get on the right track. Mussina, an old vet, shrugged it off. But then last night Mussina went out and pitched a brilliant ballgame. This will only feed into Hank Steinbrenner’s ego. He’ll think Mussina pitched better because he lit a fire under his ass. It’ll only encourage Hank to do it again and louder next time. Daddy George always did this, too.

Last Thursday’s 6-day forecast --- Wednesday was the 6th day.
“Wednesday: Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the low 50s.”
So, what was yesterday’s weather in New York City?
We had a high of 77; and a low of 53. BUZZ – the high was 10 degrees off. The low was right on, though.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Regina, Saskatchewan, it’s Ted Deller.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1
• Show Open
• Dave's Monologue
 Watch now
• Crazy "American Idol" Performance
• "John Adams" Clip
• Phone Rings on Dave's Desk
• "John Adams" Clip
• Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2
• Miss Patrick's "If I Were President"
ACT 3
• Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Can Improve His Approval Rating
 Read now

• Danica Patrick
ACT 4
• Johnny Dark as Abe Lincoln
ACT 5
• Audience Shot
ACT 6
• Keith Olberman
ACT 7
• Tokyo Police Club perform "Tessellate"
• Show Close

 Contact Michael
Print Send to a friend

Advertisement