DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Dennis Quaid; Sarah Chalke; and Buddy Guy. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; The New Late Show Fun Facts book; MSNBC News You Can Count On; Something Odd at the Presidential Debate; a Message from John McCain; a Top Ten list; and a Late Show Undecided Voter.
" . . . and now, Austrian logician . . . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: COLD OPEN: We find Dave and Jude in the dressing room before the show. Jude is reading a newspaper. She mumbles, "Dismal. Horrible. Unbelievable." DAVE: "Are you reading about the economy?" JUDE: "No, I was just thinking about working here." DAVE: "Oh, SNAP!"
I liked the "Oh, snap!"
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: "I like to go out there . . . see the cows . . . . some of them talk to me." ACT 2:
Are you enjoying the presidential campaign? It's the longest campaign on record. This one started in 1967! Just a few more weeks, kids, just a few more weeks. And then we can sit back and cut an artery while we ponder Bush's pardons. I hate Presidential Pardons. What he should do is pardon some our debt. Instead of letting a lawbreaker out of jail, how about pardoning a hard working guy or gal who lost his job and has been swallowed up in debt?
And when Clinton caught so much grief in 2000 for his pardons, I remember GWBush remained very quiet. I imagine he's got a long list himself to spring on us on a Friday night during the holiday season.
Did I mention I had Presidential Pardons?
What? You still haven't gotten the Late Show Fun Facts book? What are you waiting for, to find it in the dollar bin? Better yet, why not go to the book store and read it right there . . .. . right there in the book store. And if someone confronts, simply tell them, "Lay off, squirrelly." And if you're a slow reader like Dave, the book can easily slip inside your jacket.
And don't forget, "The Late Show Fun Facts" book is on Oprah's Book Club . . . at least until the Cease and Desist order comes down.
Here's something new: "MSNBC News You Can Count On" -- We see NBC News analyst Howard Fineman state on MSNBC, "Sarah Palin is perfectly willing to touch it."
Anything for a vote, I guess.
Did you watch the Presidential Debate Tuesday night? Dave noticed something very odd. Something he did not expect to see at all. We take a look at a clip of the debate. There, sitting in the very first row . . . . . . . Kim Jong-Il. How? What? Who? It was either Kim Jong-Il or his brother . . . . . all together now . . . . . Mental Lee-Il.
And now it's time for "A Message from John McCain"
Senator McCain: "My friends / I can tell you right now / I don't / know / where / I am."
TOP TEN: Signs the Presidential Campaign is Getting Ugly
9. Next debate to be moderated by Jerry Springer.
7. Sarah Palin says she can see Joe Biden's hair plugs from her house.
1. Obama's gloves are off; McCain's teeth are out.
ACT 3: DENNIS QUAID
In his new film, "The Express," Dennis plays the Syracuse football coach in the 1950's during the time Ernie Davis won the Heisman Trophy. Ernie became the first African American to win the trophy as the nation's top college football player. The film is about the times, the racial tension; and different cultures collapsing in on each other and how the elements come out on the other side. Dennis plays the hard-ass, old-fart coach trying to win a championship, while Ernie Davis was the sensitive and introspective but magnificent running back who would help get him there. Dennis describes Ernie Davis as being able to get to the "soft, creamy center" of the hardened coach. Dave laughs at the description and surmises that Dennis has been out on the promotional tour a bit too long.
Dennis is a dad of 11-month-old twins. For their first birthday, the family is going to Disneyland! Isn't Disneyland a bit too young for 1-year-olds? Dennis says it is, but he is looking forward to watching them take a nape and at the happiest place on earth. Dennis says he will also enjoy the rollercoasters with his 16-year-old son, Jack. And speaking of rollercoasters, Jack just got his license. For this first car, Dennis bought Jack a tank. Can't be too careful.
Jack also has a ranch in Montana and he likes to ride the horses. Like anyone who has ridden a motorcycle, all horseback riders have a story of being tossed. Dennis blames the loco weed that grows wild in Montana for making his horse a bit loopy. Without warning, the horse had enough of someone sitting on his back and kicked Dennis off. Luckily, Dennis landed on the softest rock he could find. And what is the first thing Dennis does? He gets to his feet and takes a practice golf swing. If he can still swing a club, then all is OK. Quaid is one of the top celebrity golfers out there and plays 18 just about every day.
We see a clip of The Express. In the scene, Coach Dennis Quaid is in the locker room before a game in a heated argument with Syracuse Athletic Director Lew Andreas, played by Chelcie Ross. And when I saw the Syracuse Athletic Director, I thought, "Hey, that's Dan Devine!" Chelice Ross also played Notre Dame football coach Dan Devine in the 1993 film, "Rudy." And while browsing, I saw that Charles Dutton also appears in both "Rudy" and "The Express."
There will be months at a time when there is not a single movie that I want to see. Right now, there are about 5 on my list I want to see, but most likely won't.
ACT 4:
According to the latest polls, 18% of registered voters are still undecided. And they're the key to determining the election. We happen to have an undecided voter on our staff. Dave introduces the Late Show undecided voter, Joe Grossman.
The uncomfortable Joe Grossman enters and stands center stage. DAVE: "Thanks for chatting with us. Can I call you ‘Joe'?" JOE: " . . . . . . I guess." DAVE: "The election's less than a month away. Any sense of whether you're leaning toward Barack Obama or John McCain?" JOE: " . . . . . I don't know." DAVE: "Do you think McCain would handle the economy better, or Obama?" JOE: " . . . . . . I don't know." DAVE: "Now, Joe, as a separate issue, weren't you out here a few weeks ago, claiming to be a sex addict?"
Joe doesn't answer. The Control Room puts up a split screen of Joe on stage last week as he was revealed to be a sex addict. DAVE: "And you're also an undecided voter?" JOE: " . . . . . . I got a lot going on."
DAVE: "Has your sexual addiction made it difficult to concentrate on deciding who to vote for?" JOE: " . . . . . I don't know. . . . . . May I please go now? I want to have sex." DAVE: "Be my guest. Undecided voter, Joe Grossman, ladies and gentlemen."
Joe is unsure on which way to exit; first walking towards the camera, a step towards Dave, then quickly off to his left.
And remember, folks, his vote will count just as much as yours.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Bill Murray, and musical guest, Beck.
Haven't purchased a pumpkin? What the hell are you waiting for?
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: SARAH CHALKE
From the CBS sitcom . . . . . remember ‘sitcoms'? . . . . . . . . How I Met Your Mother.
She is also on the NBC/ABC Scrubs. It was on NBC for 7 years, and then moved to ABC. It's having a good run, though Sarah admits that for the past 4 years everyone thought it would be the last. She was recently taping an episode of Scrubs where she was horseback riding and was tossed. Her stunt double: Dennis Quaid. No no no no. She had a stunt double for the scene who looked similar to Sarah, which is obviously what you want. Now, Sarah admits to being self-conscious about her own face, thinking it is very round. When she met her stunt double, Sarah tried to be friendly and chatty and supportive. She told the stunt double, "I think you should double for me all the time!" The double did not look very happy. In fact, she looked a bit offended. Sarah quickly tried to make things better by adding, "I mean, except you have a much slimmer face than I do." The stunt double replied in her German accent, "Aw, it's OK, Sarah, I just go like this when I ride the horse . . . ." and then she blew out her cheeks as if she were trying to blow up a balloon that wasn't first stretched. Ouch. If I were Sarah, next time I'd feed the horse some loco weed before the stunt double rode.
Sarah has been engaged to be married for a couple years now but just got an engagement ring this morning. Actually, it's a replacement ring. She had lost her original. It somehow slipped off somewhere around Ventura Boulevard. She and her fiancé looked everywhere for it but no luck. He then presented her with a new one this morning, engraved with a "If found, please call" message and phone number on the inside.
What kind of guy is her fiancé? Well, he'd put on a dress for a meal, if that gives you any idea. We see a photo of her engaged other half in one of her dresses. The story goes that he wasn't allowed into a restaurant because he was wearing short pants while vacationing in Egypt, so he went back to the room and got into one of Sarah's dresses. It was the only other clothes they had with them. He returned to the restaurant pretending it was a traditional men's Egyptian formal dress. The ruse worked.
And I'm thinking . . . . . Sarah and her fiancé are the same size? How I Met Your Mother -- CBS Mondays at 8:30.
Hey, Carter. Hey, Craig.
ACT 7: BUDDY GUY: From his most recent CD, "Skin Deep," the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer and multiple Grammy-Award winning musician performed, "Skin Deep." Now that was some good music!
And that was our show for Wednesday October 8, 2008.
Many are surprised to learn that the film The Express is a true story. People doubted the story when they saw Syracuse football winning. At one time, Syracuse did indeed have a winning football program.
Ever go to your local Town Hall meeting? It can be great fun. Instead of watching the same boring stuff on TV, head on over to your local Town Hall and take in a meeting. See lying cheats up close and in person, and it's at no cost to you! . . . . . . . . well, at least not until tax time.
The best Town Hall meetings I ever saw were held by former New York City Mayor Ed Koch. He'd attend the Town Hall meeting in a neighborhood of the city. He'd stand at a podium along a wide dais. Someone in the audience would have a question or qualm about something going on in the neighborhood. Koch would answer briefly, and then throw the question to someone who should know more about the specifics sitting on the dais. It could be the police captain of that precinct, a sanitation head, a community organizer, or anybody who wanted to pretend to be somebody from the area. Koch worked as a big ringleader and would often tell people point blank that their concerns or complaints were unwarranted. He would brush them off as being silly and foolish, dismissing them with a wave of the hand. But he could also be tough to those on the City payroll sitting up there on stage with him. They better know the answer, or at least have a story prepared, to respond to the vocal voting citizen in the audience. And these officials better report back to the Mayor in a day or two with a progress report. These Town Hall meetings were televised on a near triple-digit channel on your cable TV and I hardly ever missed a one. Lots of fun. You should check out yours.
Let's see if local radio station 1010-WINS does anything for itself on Friday. They go by the name "Ten-Ten WINS" and this Friday is October 10th, or 10-10. For years I've been saying they are missing out on an easy promotion day by ignoring October 10th. It's their day, and they should make it so. I'll be watching to see if they do anything this Friday.
Have you read where executives from A.I.G., the insurance company that needed an $85 billion bailout from us, went on a weeklong retreat after the bailout at the luxury St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, California? They ran up a tab of $440,000. This has outraged Representative Henry Waxman (D-California) and Representative Elijah E. Cummings (D-Maryland). Makes you sick. Likely, there were more outraged congressmen but these two were quoted in the article I read. But both Waxman and Cummings had no problem in passing the $700 bailout, so vital in our economic survival, and piling on another $100 billion on top of that with pork, mandates, and tax breaks.
On the surface, this may sound like I know what I'm talking about, but I really don't.
Good news, Yankee fans. Mariano Rivera had successful shoulder surgery on his pitching arm this week. That's how it was announced, "successful shoulder surgery." Has it ever been reported that a professional athlete had "unsuccessful surgery"? Would a doctor ever announce "unsuccessful surgery"? I doubt we'd ever hear, "Wow, I really screwed that one up!" It's always "successful" surgery.
And while I'm on the Yankees, the upcoming off-season signing of free agent pitcher Derek Lowe of the Dodgers has "Yankees" written all over it. They will sign this average pitcher to big big money. But giving an average pitcher big big money doesn't make him a big big pitcher. He will still be just an average pitcher. Paying a pitcher "Ace" money doesn't make him an Ace. But that's what the Yankees will do.
Dang it, I should have been precise.
RE: Major League Baseball Uniform question from yesterday.
I asked what 6 Major League Baseball Teams have road jerseys without their city name across the chest. I should have asked "City or State," not just city. I'll give you another day and I'll have the answer tomorrow.
For instance: The New York Mets have "Mets" on their home uniform; "New York" on their road uniform. Six teams do not have their home state or city on the road uniform.
And now I realize that most teams have 10 different uniforms. I imagine my answer will be met with a lot of "What?!" My six teams may not match your list, and you'll probably have proof that I'm wrong and you're right. But that's nothing new. From my quick scan, I found 6 teams.
I better clear out my mailbox to make room for the onslaught.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New York, it's Roz Cundell
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER.
Dennis Quaid; Sarah Chalke; and Buddy Guy. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; The New Late Show Fun Facts book; MSNBC News You Can Count On; Something Odd at the Presidential Debate; a Message from John McCain; a Top Ten list; and a Late Show Undecided Voter.
" . . . and now, Austrian logician . . . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: COLD OPEN: We find Dave and Jude in the dressing room before the show. Jude is reading a newspaper. She mumbles, "Dismal. Horrible. Unbelievable." DAVE: "Are you reading about the economy?" JUDE: "No, I was just thinking about working here." DAVE: "Oh, SNAP!"
I liked the "Oh, snap!"
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: "I like to go out there . . . see the cows . . . . some of them talk to me." ACT 2:
Are you enjoying the presidential campaign? It's the longest campaign on record. This one started in 1967! Just a few more weeks, kids, just a few more weeks. And then we can sit back and cut an artery while we ponder Bush's pardons. I hate Presidential Pardons. What he should do is pardon some our debt. Instead of letting a lawbreaker out of jail, how about pardoning a hard working guy or gal who lost his job and has been swallowed up in debt?
And when Clinton caught so much grief in 2000 for his pardons, I remember GWBush remained very quiet. I imagine he's got a long list himself to spring on us on a Friday night during the holiday season.
Did I mention I had Presidential Pardons?
What? You still haven't gotten the Late Show Fun Facts book? What are you waiting for, to find it in the dollar bin? Better yet, why not go to the book store and read it right there . . .. . right there in the book store. And if someone confronts, simply tell them, "Lay off, squirrelly." And if you're a slow reader like Dave, the book can easily slip inside your jacket.
And don't forget, "The Late Show Fun Facts" book is on Oprah's Book Club . . . at least until the Cease and Desist order comes down.
Here's something new: "MSNBC News You Can Count On" -- We see NBC News analyst Howard Fineman state on MSNBC, "Sarah Palin is perfectly willing to touch it."
Anything for a vote, I guess.
Did you watch the Presidential Debate Tuesday night? Dave noticed something very odd. Something he did not expect to see at all. We take a look at a clip of the debate. There, sitting in the very first row . . . . . . . Kim Jong-Il. How? What? Who? It was either Kim Jong-Il or his brother . . . . . all together now . . . . . Mental Lee-Il.
And now it's time for "A Message from John McCain"
Senator McCain: "My friends / I can tell you right now / I don't / know / where / I am."
TOP TEN: Signs the Presidential Campaign is Getting Ugly
9. Next debate to be moderated by Jerry Springer.
7. Sarah Palin says she can see Joe Biden's hair plugs from her house.
1. Obama's gloves are off; McCain's teeth are out.
ACT 3: DENNIS QUAID
In his new film, "The Express," Dennis plays the Syracuse football coach in the 1950's during the time Ernie Davis won the Heisman Trophy. Ernie became the first African American to win the trophy as the nation's top college football player. The film is about the times, the racial tension; and different cultures collapsing in on each other and how the elements come out on the other side. Dennis plays the hard-ass, old-fart coach trying to win a championship, while Ernie Davis was the sensitive and introspective but magnificent running back who would help get him there. Dennis describes Ernie Davis as being able to get to the "soft, creamy center" of the hardened coach. Dave laughs at the description and surmises that Dennis has been out on the promotional tour a bit too long.
Dennis is a dad of 11-month-old twins. For their first birthday, the family is going to Disneyland! Isn't Disneyland a bit too young for 1-year-olds? Dennis says it is, but he is looking forward to watching them take a nape and at the happiest place on earth. Dennis says he will also enjoy the rollercoasters with his 16-year-old son, Jack. And speaking of rollercoasters, Jack just got his license. For this first car, Dennis bought Jack a tank. Can't be too careful.
Jack also has a ranch in Montana and he likes to ride the horses. Like anyone who has ridden a motorcycle, all horseback riders have a story of being tossed. Dennis blames the loco weed that grows wild in Montana for making his horse a bit loopy. Without warning, the horse had enough of someone sitting on his back and kicked Dennis off. Luckily, Dennis landed on the softest rock he could find. And what is the first thing Dennis does? He gets to his feet and takes a practice golf swing. If he can still swing a club, then all is OK. Quaid is one of the top celebrity golfers out there and plays 18 just about every day.
We see a clip of The Express. In the scene, Coach Dennis Quaid is in the locker room before a game in a heated argument with Syracuse Athletic Director Lew Andreas, played by Chelcie Ross. And when I saw the Syracuse Athletic Director, I thought, "Hey, that's Dan Devine!" Chelice Ross also played Notre Dame football coach Dan Devine in the 1993 film, "Rudy." And while browsing, I saw that Charles Dutton also appears in both "Rudy" and "The Express."
There will be months at a time when there is not a single movie that I want to see. Right now, there are about 5 on my list I want to see, but most likely won't.
ACT 4:
According to the latest polls, 18% of registered voters are still undecided. And they're the key to determining the election. We happen to have an undecided voter on our staff. Dave introduces the Late Show undecided voter, Joe Grossman.
The uncomfortable Joe Grossman enters and stands center stage. DAVE: "Thanks for chatting with us. Can I call you ‘Joe'?" JOE: " . . . . . . I guess." DAVE: "The election's less than a month away. Any sense of whether you're leaning toward Barack Obama or John McCain?" JOE: " . . . . . I don't know." DAVE: "Do you think McCain would handle the economy better, or Obama?" JOE: " . . . . . . I don't know." DAVE: "Now, Joe, as a separate issue, weren't you out here a few weeks ago, claiming to be a sex addict?"
Joe doesn't answer. The Control Room puts up a split screen of Joe on stage last week as he was revealed to be a sex addict. DAVE: "And you're also an undecided voter?" JOE: " . . . . . . I got a lot going on."
DAVE: "Has your sexual addiction made it difficult to concentrate on deciding who to vote for?" JOE: " . . . . . I don't know. . . . . . May I please go now? I want to have sex." DAVE: "Be my guest. Undecided voter, Joe Grossman, ladies and gentlemen."
Joe is unsure on which way to exit; first walking towards the camera, a step towards Dave, then quickly off to his left.
And remember, folks, his vote will count just as much as yours.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Bill Murray, and musical guest, Beck.
Haven't purchased a pumpkin? What the hell are you waiting for?
We'll be right back."
ACT 6: SARAH CHALKE
From the CBS sitcom . . . . . remember ‘sitcoms'? . . . . . . . . How I Met Your Mother.
She is also on the NBC/ABC Scrubs. It was on NBC for 7 years, and then moved to ABC. It's having a good run, though Sarah admits that for the past 4 years everyone thought it would be the last. She was recently taping an episode of Scrubs where she was horseback riding and was tossed. Her stunt double: Dennis Quaid. No no no no. She had a stunt double for the scene who looked similar to Sarah, which is obviously what you want. Now, Sarah admits to being self-conscious about her own face, thinking it is very round. When she met her stunt double, Sarah tried to be friendly and chatty and supportive. She told the stunt double, "I think you should double for me all the time!" The double did not look very happy. In fact, she looked a bit offended. Sarah quickly tried to make things better by adding, "I mean, except you have a much slimmer face than I do." The stunt double replied in her German accent, "Aw, it's OK, Sarah, I just go like this when I ride the horse . . . ." and then she blew out her cheeks as if she were trying to blow up a balloon that wasn't first stretched. Ouch. If I were Sarah, next time I'd feed the horse some loco weed before the stunt double rode.
Sarah has been engaged to be married for a couple years now but just got an engagement ring this morning. Actually, it's a replacement ring. She had lost her original. It somehow slipped off somewhere around Ventura Boulevard. She and her fiancé looked everywhere for it but no luck. He then presented her with a new one this morning, engraved with a "If found, please call" message and phone number on the inside.
What kind of guy is her fiancé? Well, he'd put on a dress for a meal, if that gives you any idea. We see a photo of her engaged other half in one of her dresses. The story goes that he wasn't allowed into a restaurant because he was wearing short pants while vacationing in Egypt, so he went back to the room and got into one of Sarah's dresses. It was the only other clothes they had with them. He returned to the restaurant pretending it was a traditional men's Egyptian formal dress. The ruse worked.
And I'm thinking . . . . . Sarah and her fiancé are the same size? How I Met Your Mother -- CBS Mondays at 8:30.
Hey, Carter. Hey, Craig.
ACT 7: BUDDY GUY: From his most recent CD, "Skin Deep," the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer and multiple Grammy-Award winning musician performed, "Skin Deep." Now that was some good music!
And that was our show for Wednesday October 8, 2008.
Many are surprised to learn that the film The Express is a true story. People doubted the story when they saw Syracuse football winning. At one time, Syracuse did indeed have a winning football program.
Ever go to your local Town Hall meeting? It can be great fun. Instead of watching the same boring stuff on TV, head on over to your local Town Hall and take in a meeting. See lying cheats up close and in person, and it's at no cost to you! . . . . . . . . well, at least not until tax time.
The best Town Hall meetings I ever saw were held by former New York City Mayor Ed Koch. He'd attend the Town Hall meeting in a neighborhood of the city. He'd stand at a podium along a wide dais. Someone in the audience would have a question or qualm about something going on in the neighborhood. Koch would answer briefly, and then throw the question to someone who should know more about the specifics sitting on the dais. It could be the police captain of that precinct, a sanitation head, a community organizer, or anybody who wanted to pretend to be somebody from the area. Koch worked as a big ringleader and would often tell people point blank that their concerns or complaints were unwarranted. He would brush them off as being silly and foolish, dismissing them with a wave of the hand. But he could also be tough to those on the City payroll sitting up there on stage with him. They better know the answer, or at least have a story prepared, to respond to the vocal voting citizen in the audience. And these officials better report back to the Mayor in a day or two with a progress report. These Town Hall meetings were televised on a near triple-digit channel on your cable TV and I hardly ever missed a one. Lots of fun. You should check out yours.
Let's see if local radio station 1010-WINS does anything for itself on Friday. They go by the name "Ten-Ten WINS" and this Friday is October 10th, or 10-10. For years I've been saying they are missing out on an easy promotion day by ignoring October 10th. It's their day, and they should make it so. I'll be watching to see if they do anything this Friday.
Have you read where executives from A.I.G., the insurance company that needed an $85 billion bailout from us, went on a weeklong retreat after the bailout at the luxury St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, California? They ran up a tab of $440,000. This has outraged Representative Henry Waxman (D-California) and Representative Elijah E. Cummings (D-Maryland). Makes you sick. Likely, there were more outraged congressmen but these two were quoted in the article I read. But both Waxman and Cummings had no problem in passing the $700 bailout, so vital in our economic survival, and piling on another $100 billion on top of that with pork, mandates, and tax breaks.
On the surface, this may sound like I know what I'm talking about, but I really don't.
Good news, Yankee fans. Mariano Rivera had successful shoulder surgery on his pitching arm this week. That's how it was announced, "successful shoulder surgery." Has it ever been reported that a professional athlete had "unsuccessful surgery"? Would a doctor ever announce "unsuccessful surgery"? I doubt we'd ever hear, "Wow, I really screwed that one up!" It's always "successful" surgery.
And while I'm on the Yankees, the upcoming off-season signing of free agent pitcher Derek Lowe of the Dodgers has "Yankees" written all over it. They will sign this average pitcher to big big money. But giving an average pitcher big big money doesn't make him a big big pitcher. He will still be just an average pitcher. Paying a pitcher "Ace" money doesn't make him an Ace. But that's what the Yankees will do.
Dang it, I should have been precise.
RE: Major League Baseball Uniform question from yesterday.
I asked what 6 Major League Baseball Teams have road jerseys without their city name across the chest. I should have asked "City or State," not just city. I'll give you another day and I'll have the answer tomorrow.
For instance: The New York Mets have "Mets" on their home uniform; "New York" on their road uniform. Six teams do not have their home state or city on the road uniform.
And now I realize that most teams have 10 different uniforms. I imagine my answer will be met with a lot of "What?!" My six teams may not match your list, and you'll probably have proof that I'm wrong and you're right. But that's nothing new. From my quick scan, I found 6 teams.
I better clear out my mailbox to make room for the onslaught.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New York, it's Roz Cundell
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER.
ACT 1 • Cold Open with Dave and Jude • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Fun Facts Book • MSNBC: Sarah Palin is perfectly willing to touch it • Kim Jong-Il at the Debate • A Message from John McCain • Top Ten Signs the Presidential Campaign Is Getting Ugly Read now